Till Death do me apart



Here I am, conjuring myself to write a blog after the sudden death of a close relative. Does it matter to me? Am I confused and dazed, it’s like a surreal feeling of numbness that I have gathered in my heart to pour on this blog post. Even when my close pet bird died I was so upset and angry, I guess it matters how close your circle is, but after a few weeks life carried on. What does death teach me about life, I am happy in the current cycle of life, do I want to be here if death was close on the heels, I have no clue, does family matter or will I die alone ?


What is the answer to this fruitful puzzle called life, I am just running in a rat race pretending to be better than the next guy, anxious and nervous about my next paycheck because I will buy a big home or a deluxe car just to show society that I am a winner in life. Society doesn’t care, I’ll be bored as a hippie, do I want to travel the world, find new places to visit, I’m much more of an introvert, I don’t know what I want, a psyche analysis of the brain might reveal the truth, but I have no idea.  Do I reinvent myself and be a new me, help people, I have no idea.



There are still some things I would like to pursue – love, the ultimate drug, high on love can get me past a few years till it begins to fade away. Be more in touch with people that helped me, I guess. I don’t know why this Feeling of nothing being worthwhile is still instilled in me, nothing seems worthwhile. I wish my neurons were more efficient in creating sparks so I could be happier. Exercise is the biggest motivator I have found but it goes away in winter so try and taking up new activities to energize yourself. Saying yes to life and pushing the thoughts of death away 


eXTReMe Tracker